Just like that. Sitting in a meeting with my colleagues, and suddenly realising that a) I can leave this job and it doesn’t matter at all. This thought was quickly followed by b) I have some core supporters and c) they believe in me.
Back to the first point. Don’t get me wrong, of course it matters. Just in the BIG scheme of things it’s not important: life will go on, Foreship Oy won’t fall in to a funk and fail just because I’m not doing the job anymore. The job will be done by someone else, in their style. Trust me, this is a huge step for me. In the past, moving on, even when it’s been a promotion (and thus GOOD for me) has brought out some extremely protective behaviour from me. Looking back, I realise that I’ve done a huge disservice to those that followed in my immediate footsteps. While I’m unable to undo those things I’ve done before, I’m ready to move on, confident that I have given my successor everything she needs to do the job (and a little bit more). What she does with that little bit more is her issue, not mine!!! Wow, that feels so good!
Now to my supporters: this merry band grows weekly. The core supporters are presently sleeping on the other side of the wall. The next layer if you will, are spread around the country and around the world. Some are kin, while others are familiar to me from different times and places in my life. I feel there is a third, albeit thin layer forming of contacts who patiently answer my questions and point me in the right direction. They also encourage me to constantly question, look and learn. Without exception, everyone on my team is behind me, in one form or another. Thank you for sticking with me thus far, the ride is about to get a little bumpy. Hold tight!
In closing, if I haven’t made this clear earlier, I’ll say it now: this is the right time for me to do this. Personally, professionally, mentally and physically. Thank you for believing in me.