I’ve been struggling lately. The pieces haven’t been falling into place. Not like I imagined they might or even into any sort of order.
Bear with me for a paragraph or two, by the end of this post I think all will be clear 🙂
My struggle has been a loss of faith in myself and what I want to do. Well, not actually what I want to do, rather are there enough people out there like me who want to do what I want to do. Now, that does sound very confusing I know.
The whole business idea is built around showing my Helsinki, not necessarily the same as the official Helsinki version or any of the myriad of other tour operators about.
I think I am as close to rock bottom as I can get in this planning / pre-opening stage.
My aha moment came when I realised that I only need one person to believe in me. ME. While this is painfully self-evident now, last week this concept was clouded in a heap of doubts and negative thoughts. I was doubting the name, the idea, the source of customers. Everything just felt wrong.
I contemplated dumping the study, even though I enjoy it immensely. In the long run there will be benefits.
I contemplated dumping the volunteering, even though I enjoy it immensely. It pays to broaden ones’ horizons on occasion.
I contemplated dumping the book club, even though I enjoy it immensely. Despite the fact that I’ve been unable to read any of the books for the past few months, that one night of good food, good wine, good company does much to restore my spirit.
I contemplated dumping the cycling, even though I enjoy it immensely. Physical exercise and pushing the pain barrier can’t be beaten for getting those cogs turning in new directions. Some of my best ideas have come after a stint in the saddle. Followed by walking the dog 😉
Now that I’ve said aha out loud a few times, even in the shower (which resulted in a mouthful of soapy water – bleugh) I’m set to move forward. I’ve cleared the table (literally and metaphorically) and all of those positive thoughts are about to become actions.
More soon, just watch!